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July 31, 2019

To the Internet Troll


There's a rule out here in cyberland -- don't feed the troll. Much like a face-to-face bully, an internet troll's motivation is to make you wobble, doubt yourself, cause hurt and pain. The rule is: don't engage, don't give them time or energy. Don't add oxygen to the fire. Delete. Block. Move On. Easy enough, right?

Last week, I received a callous message through a direct message from someone (likely a woman based on the name). I don't think I know this person, as the profile is private, but I'm not sure which is better -- to receive a hateful message from the devil you know or the one you don't.

I'd love to say I blocked and deleted without letting the message bother me. There were comments about being in front of the camera, getting a life, and of course, a comment about my weight. I have NEVER, nor will I ever, understand why someone thinks it's their right, and likely even enjoys, to send such a disgusting note to someone. This is not the first time I've received a nasty note -- I worked in TV for 10+ years -- and while I do know we open ourselves up to ridicule when we put ourselves in the public eye, criticism without substance is just plain hate.

Of course, deep down, I know the person sending the message likely has an issue with herself and is using me as a board to make them feel better. But I also wanted to address this online because like many things in life, we don't talk enough about issues that make us feel vulnerable. I have seen other television hosts, bloggers, models post about similar instances -- and so I join their fight. Regardless of position or notoriety, bullying of any kind to any person is wrong. 

I've taken a few days to write about this because I've pondered it a bit and thought -- no, I need to say/write something. Not directly to the fine piece of work who delivered her most poetic prose but for the thousands of real people who do follow me, and who continually offer support. If you're looking for some rebuttals to bullies in your life -- feel free to take mine.

So here are my thoughts to this *person*, who really doesn't deserve to be called that:

  • If you don't like what I have to say, do, eat, wear -- unfollow me. No one said you need to watch a television show or read a book you don't like. 
  • My life is full of people who love me, so, I'm not really interested in getting a new life. I plan to fill this one with joyful experiences, lots of learning, and love. Thanks for your concern, though.
  • As for me being a narcissist because I talk to the camera -- I personally love talking to the camera, always have. In fact, I went to university for it. So if that makes me a narcissist, meh. At least I have something meaningful to say and an outlet that brings me happiness.
  • And the weight. Wow. It takes a really small person to comment on someone's weight or particular body parts-- with the sheer intention of hurting that person. I can only imagine you are so insecure with yourself, you need to comment on someone else. I hope that if you have children they will learn confidence and beauty from another role model.

Lastly,  many years ago, I learned that an anonymous letter is as good as garbage. If someone wanted to make a difference, they would be open and respectful and show their face as well as their name. Privacy doesn't make you strong, it makes you invisible.

So, thank you, Internet Troll, for a message that yes, may have made me unbalanced a bit. But you also reinforced that there ARE good people in the cyber world -- you're just not one of them. So, I wish you find some sort of peace with yourself and the world, that you see some sort of positivity and light.

Cause your attitude is not welcome here.

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2 comments

  1. You’re amazing. Thank you for showing her that you are a person behind the camera. With feelings. A family. And a big heart. It’s tough to not let jerks get to you, but do not ever let that stop your light from shining Xoxox

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  2. Love you Julia. Thank you for sharing, and sorry you had to encounter such nonsense.

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